Ludum Dare 32 — April 17th-20th, 2015 — Theme: An Unconventional Weapon

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Grow My Thing

by ChronoDK - Compo Entry

Things got pretty strange here, but I hope everyone can figure out how to play anyway. Just use your mouse to move around and shoot with your unconventional weapon. The more you destroy, the more you grow.

Let me know your high-scores in the comments - I got 34 inches ;)

EDIT: It's amazing on iPad with one player holding the thing and the other player firing it :D

Downloads and Links




mike1101 says ...
Apr 19, 2015 @ 10:37pm

Oh man, that's hilarious. Top points for Unconventional Weapon. Made me super uncomfortable :)

Not sure this is a constructive point but I ended up just playing the dick above the hilter heads as it's the only way to ensure I hit them. Which felt silly after a while ... Though I appreciate the wobbliness is part of the humour.

ppvk says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 1:22am

While unconventional in general, there seems to be a few dick references in this LD. That being said, technically impressive.

Evgiz says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 6:24am

Hahah this is hilarious!! Fits the theme really well. Gameplay is fun due to the special physics of the weapon, love the music too. Decent graphics and gave me a good laugh! Keep up the good work!

C# says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 6:25am


(It was a nice surprise that this game was pretty interesting)

Apr 20, 2015 @ 6:30am

Super simple and hilarious game! Though the game becomes near impossible at around at a score of 50 (inches?), its still pretty damn great to play. Great work!

Jordan says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 6:32am

The physics of said "thing" add a fun element to the game,
but I think it could be somewhat harder, e.g spawning more "nazis".

I got to a high score of 50.

GTA LUDUM V says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 6:56am

NSFW and hilarious in the same time!!

Armanky says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 6:56am

If anybody worries their idea will be too offensive, I will show them your game. This is art.

Apr 20, 2015 @ 6:58am

Ok... I have to say that I enjoyed the gameplay. Little bit corny, but fun.

Jaenis says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 6:59am

That was "unconventional" indeed :D
I'd liked if you would have been able to whip enemies dead also. (that could make you shorter and game would last longer)

Apr 20, 2015 @ 7:01am

Saw the name, knew it couldn't be "that" thing, but secretly hoped it would be. It was.

SilentNight says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:07am

You know, I saw this game and I was like wow this is kind of silly. Then I played it and it was hella fun. Definitely an unconventional weapon.

fluidvolt says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:07am

I couldn't figure out how to reliably damage the Hitler heads... but this is kinda great? Really funny, in a super distasteful (by that I mean good) way. I will say also: nice, um, stretchy dick physics. Never thought I'd say that sentence.

AlexanderTeaH says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:09am

It hits bang on with the theme and the music was quite good, but the nazi references kind of put me off. That being said, the dick thing was hilarious.

texdata says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 9:03am

hhahah nice !

Jack31081988 says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 9:04am

Fuck Yeah!! This is great

TheBigShot says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 9:12am

Very Very unconventional. Decent game. ade me kind aunconfortable while playing. BUt games should envoke a response from the player and this certainly did. Good execution.

rg_rem says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 11:33am

I knew this game should be

Malsanity says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 11:39am

Humour of a 4 year old. Good technical skills, but misused

Flygamer101 says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 12:40pm

Hilariously inappropriate theme, i enjoyed the music, but it was confusing due to the fact there were no instructions. Made me laugh however.

cgriff says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 12:45pm

I like the way you can rest "it" on the platform to get a horizontal shoot angle, and the Noby Noby-style grow mechanic. An interesting (if a little disturbing) game.

strong99 says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 1:43pm

Awkward, but rather fun combined with the physics of the gun. Clean graphics. Nice.

Fanttum says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 2:35pm

Might be the best dick game of this LD, and yea, there are a few others...

Apr 20, 2015 @ 2:41pm

I don't really know what to say. The theme and gameplay were great, but the game left me very uncomfortable.

DKoding says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 3:33pm

Well that was obscene. But I really like the physics and the movement of the... main character... 10/10 best game ever, would play again. :-) Please rate my game at

fabsenet says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 3:47pm

This is the best game I rated in this contest so far. I really enjoyed it but I have the feeling it is not really safe for work :)

I like how you can put it on the ground and how it naturally get harder to player the longer he is.

Buko-Studios says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 4:09pm

lol! this is so hilarious! ejoyed growing the thing esp when it went all waggy and dangly while shooting. good art too!

Suvidriel says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 4:30pm

What the hell did I just play :D

Nice musics :)

maunovaha says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 5:01pm

Lol.. first game which truly fits the theme. Hah. What did I just play?

Havacore says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 5:58pm

I got to around 45 inches, but the game starts to kinda break after 35ish, since after that you're just trying to arrange it so that the dick lies on the sidewalk to shoot all the hitlers.

And that is something I just said about a game...

dlowe says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:16pm


Raimonds says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:40pm

Weird but fun use of theme. :D Did not see this coming.

esayitch says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 9:15pm

31 inches. If only [Cries].

I must say, FINALLY a game where the unconventional weapon BEHAVES differently as opposed to just looks like an unconventional weapon. +Points for that.
You should add a powerup that makes the penis smaller so it's easier to shoot, since gaining size is in essence gaining difficulty.

Graphics are great, sound is just fantastic, very solid entry, only beef is its lack of content.

Good luck!

KedumeBits says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 10:07pm

A very mad game.

Split82 says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 11:22pm

OMG! :D Great use of theme.

Ilseroth says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 11:27pm

I have no words honestly.

peterkirk says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 11:39pm

You really put an emphasis on the unconventional in Unconventional Weapon. The mechanic of having the "weapon" getting closer to the ground and more difficult to aim with each point is brilliant.

Apr 21, 2015 @ 12:44am

I am happy we are of a kindred spirit. Check out the Rod of God :)

thumbgarden says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 12:47am

Dude this is hilarious. 10/10 dick physics haha

LTPATS says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 3:35am

This was great. The dick physics were really good and the growth mechanic made for a very natural difficulty curve. Reached 59 inches personally, it got pretty ridiculous after around 30-40 inches. Overall I enjoyed it a lot, great work!

EwChap says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 4:20am

Hilarious and terrible. Also a fun to play game.

cgmorton says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 4:21am

45 inches is where it gets impossible, but I still made it to 54 by flopping down and spamming.

Apr 21, 2015 @ 4:29am

I reached an amazing 36 inches! What fun. The music is somehow fitting if thats even possible. One of the best entries. It would be amazing if you were able to win :). Good luck.

wg_phancock says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 6:39am

You know, dick jokes aside, it's a pretty fun little game. Sort of like "snake" meets "space invaders" or something. The physics on the phallus (ooh alliteration) are also quite impressive.

However, it could have been anything other than a dick and probably still as fun, though maybe not as juvenile-funny.

Bitterdeath says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 7:06am

TIL shooting Hitler heads stored in glass jars with a 41 inch floppy wang can be challenging, hilarious and fun.

chipcaramel says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 11:43am

Pissing lasers at Hitler while wielding a 50 inch dick. I don't know if I wanna close it and throw my computer into a furnace or push this towards Greenlight. I will say this: Good job on making something this catchy, confusing, and fun!

Ossi says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 5:51pm

Yep that weapon is truly unconventional. Very challenging and pretty darn funny. Great job!

SadSmile says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 7:57pm

Pretty funny, but for my taste a little bit to offensive.
Still a good game

DragonXVI says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 7:59pm

Well that was certainly unconventional :p
40 inches!

sP0CkEr2 says ...
Apr 22, 2015 @ 3:28am

off the charts! whats amazing is that it played like a real game - nice job

rojo says ...
Apr 22, 2015 @ 3:34am

Lol. This game, like Mount Your Friends, proves that dangly parts are hilarious! I got up to 53 inches. It'd be cool if there was a way to more reliably play after your thing gets huge.

Awpteamoose says ...
Apr 22, 2015 @ 9:28am

Lacks balls.

jackrugile says ...
Apr 23, 2015 @ 3:14am

46 inches! Nice game ;)

T1MGames says ...
Apr 24, 2015 @ 12:00am


benmcnelly says ...
Apr 24, 2015 @ 1:34am

The longer you play the harder it gets. The game. The game is more difficult.

Tijn says ...
Apr 26, 2015 @ 7:57pm

Haha, as someone else already said, both NSFW and pretty fun. Good job on how well the game is made. It feels really polished! Wait, that didn't came out right.

marinalucio says ...
Apr 27, 2015 @ 7:30am

I never thought controlling a ever growing dick to kill hitler would be so hard (pun intended).

Nice idea!

ChronusZ says ...
Apr 28, 2015 @ 2:40am

Gonna have to pull out of this one. I think your game came first. I'll just hang my head in shame. I guess I'll ejaculate the area now. I mean evacuate.

DarkwindMedia says ...
Apr 28, 2015 @ 10:06pm

W. T. F.

w1n5t0n says ...
May 11, 2015 @ 1:47pm

It was really fun but what the f*** was that!

jhell says ...
May 11, 2015 @ 1:50pm

It's uh... original ^^. Would have been cool to have some life indicator. Graphics are crisp, the dick's wobbliness is well done if not a bit extreme.

jmborden says ...
May 11, 2015 @ 2:58pm

41 inches and my dick is so long it falls on the floor.

elpaulo says ...
May 11, 2015 @ 3:05pm

Wow, finally a game where i can do the "Helico-bite" in french ^^

May 11, 2015 @ 3:34pm

After a while my dick hung from the atmosphere of the moon to the ground. I'd give this game six stars in realism, if there were such a category. Nice job. -Weloxux

infernalad says ...
May 11, 2015 @ 4:31pm

10/10 would grow 33 inch dick again :D

rogueNoodle says ...
May 11, 2015 @ 8:27pm

Silly, but honestly, pretty fun. Feel weird even suggesting ways to take this further, but maybe some powerups? Also, a more vertically oriented screen might allow for higher/longer scores :P

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