Ludum Dare 34 — December 11th-14th, 2015 — Theme Tied: Two Button Controls, Growing

NOTE: Because of the Theme tie, we allowed everyone to pick either Theme. Using both was optional. To keep things simple, there will still only be one Theme category. Every category in Ludum Dare voting is an opinion, so you’re welcome to rate them as you see fit. But we encourage you to be fair in your scores to people that chose only one Theme, and not both.

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Karoline Neves

by karol-neves - Jam Entry

Text game made on Twine. Just for fun and to participate on the JAM.
The story takes itself in a fantasy world.

Downloads and Links




pixzleone says ...
Dec 15, 2015 @ 7:31pm

Cool story, but I feel like you didn't get many options, and when you got them they seemed pretty similar. All considered good job though!

caryoscelus says ...
Dec 18, 2015 @ 9:26pm

I'd recommend using spell-checker next time, and better yet proofread it as well.

I wish there would be either more interactivity or more depth to the story, cause now it feels more like a script.

Dec 19, 2015 @ 8:42pm

A pretty simple story, like a children's fairytale, but pretty emotionally powerful nevertheless. The Twine implementation is good. I played twice until I got a winning ending.

A problem is that there are quite a lot of grammar mistakes. I don't really like to complain about that, since I realise you wrote this in Spanish originally, but it's still an issue. (If you want, I can go through it and tell you what needs fixing.) Another problem is that it's difficult to figure out what the various decisions will lead to, which isn't a good thing in a choice-based game; it means that success will depend on dumb luck rather than informed decisions. For example (slight spoilers ahead): the first time I played, I was brought back to the village by the forester, the second time I was able to escape from him, but I don't actually know what I did differently the second time.

Anyway, like I said, it's a pretty good story, and you're good at Twine. Keep writing and making games; you've got potential.

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