Ludum Dare 32 — April 17th-20th, 2015 — Theme: An Unconventional Weapon

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Girl from the north country

by Muffin - Compo Entry

An interactive story about loss and perspective, only need a mouse and a scrollwheel.

Tested for Firefox and chrome.



This is my first entry ever for LD, and I tried my best to make this work, but I'm not satisfied with the result, especially the writing. The reason I'm uploading this is because the form of storytelling could be successful if backed by a proper writer.

Also, I started on Sunday, way too late, with both the story and most of the programming. So yeah, am I apologizing enough yet?

I hope this falls on the right side of the pretentious-fence.

Thank you for your time.

PS: I very much appreciate if you tell me about bugs, typo's or anything like that. Thanks!

Downloads and Links


Ratings

Coolness100%
#101Mood3.65
#493Innovation3.18
#739Overall2.96
#886Theme2.86
#1028Graphics2.11
#1056Fun2.18

Comments

Ossi says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 7:34am

Really interesting story. I like the way you used the theme and connected it with the emotional tones of life. Having the story fold out on itself as you click through the different days is a really neat idea. Great sense of mood. Well done!

mike1101 says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 7:36am

Not sure how to rate this. I get that it's an interactive story. Not much into reading ... I started but got bored so I ended up clicking the links to progress, and when the links stopped I would go back and click another link to scan forward and see what happens.

I suppose I should comment on your writing ? You say "I" a lot ... It kind of seems like the whole thing is the character dealing with the death of their son ? And trying not to kill themselves ? By ruminiscing on the right / wrong thing ? Great idea ... Hmmm, let me think about it ...

minnouu says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 7:41am

Interesting way of telling a story, and the story is crazy dark... pretty good

Prowler says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 7:44am

Very well done! Full points for the mood. Compared to other entries I give you 3 Theme points. I'd like to give you a 2 for graphics because the text colorization is great, but compared to my other votings it would be unfair to give more than one point for a game without an image :D. Innovation 1 because I've played alot of the "inkle writer" games and the gameplay is similar. Overall its a good 3.

I hope to see more of your work in augusts ludum. Maybe with a few pics and a moody background music ;)

See ya! and Greetings.

Pat

morazor says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:36am

Nice narrative experiment. Don't apologize so much, the writing is good and feels really emotional :)

Not strictly a video game, but I think that it is worth "playing"... call it interactive story or video game, "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet" :D

Muffin says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:40am

Thanks for the comments guys! Appreciate it alot!

MrDave says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:42am

Personally I’m not a fan of text adventures. However this was brilliantly executed. I would have loved a bit of ambient sound. Top marks for mood! I hope this one does well.

It doesn’t seem right to criticise another comment saying that you cant give more than 1 start for a game with no images. I gave 3 stars for graphics because I think what you have done with text and colours alone is more stylish than some games using 3D engines.

Iak says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:51am

I like this. Seing the story change depending on small details that are changed is definitely interesting.

Prowler says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:55am

Thanks for voting my game! Yepp, the "A-team" problem is due to a very small pool of top texts. Shame on me ;)

retrophantom says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 9:12am

omg i love this, especially after working hard on the jam, its like an oasis. i like how the story reveals more by changing your actions but damn, my story would have ended 4 clicks ago

madjackmcmad says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 9:48am

Dark stuff. I like the idea of re-writing someone's story with branching points, but you're right that the writing itself has to be really solid if it's going to be entertaining. I bet you could make it shine if you put some more time into it! Keep it up.

joppiesaus says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 10:06am

Interesting story and mechanics. I don't really feel like I get the story, but it seems like you can make it worse. Mood is dark, so mood is great. I don't get the theme "unconventional weapon" out of the mechanics or story. I probably don't understand it, but that's possible with art forms. I can appreciate it.
That said, you give someone a feeling, which is quite impressing.
Great work.

HeskHwis says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 10:31am

It's a great story with a interesting dark mood, however I think that there's way too much writing... Mayb I'll retry another time, but I found myself lost in all this amount of texte.
On an toher hand, the idea of changing the story with small elements is great and well thought :)

Skywilly says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 10:40am

The story is interesting. I would have appreciated not be able to change their choice after some clicks but it's still very cool as well ;)

factorial says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 10:44am

Excellent, innovative approach to story telling. I hope to see more like this.

strega says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 10:44am

Really interesting way of literally uncovering the story and digging through the text.

SkyWolf says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 10:47am

Woo. When i opened it i was like: "Wall of text, bail out". Then i got engaged by the story and it was pretty good.

But it is not much of a "game", is it?

PaperBlurt says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 1:02pm

Had a bit difficult reading the text.
But good going...

AlexDJones says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 5:12pm

Always glad to see an IF entry!

Technical errors aside, I thought this was good. My only big concern was that the ending seemed to come out of nowhere - suddenly there's this revenge scene where before the story was more morose in tone. I did like how the choice at the ending, with there not being a "canonical" or "correct" ending.

Tijn says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 6:55pm

Well done! I like interesting & different games like these. Some music would have been nice, though.

Hectate says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 8:25pm

Its an interesting way to present a branching path through a terrible time. Thanks for the story.

ManicMiner says ...
Apr 20, 2015 @ 9:11pm

I certainly don't mind getting down to a bit of IF when the mood takes me, and this was a nicely constructed, dark and moody piece.

Apr 21, 2015 @ 7:10pm

Innovative and different - I wouldn't quite call it a game, but still a good idea! Reminds me of reading adventure books when I was a kid, only it's not falling to bits like all the ones I have :)

talecrafter says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 7:12pm

Good entry. And the story was moody.
The text between the interactive elements was too long, in my opinion.

Muffin says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 7:16pm

To the people saying this is not a game: You are right, in the traditional sense this is not a game, it does not judge or reward you based on your achievements. It might not even be a form of play. This is why I called it an interactive story. However, I think this is a game in the sense that it gives you a puzzle to figure out. It is a puzzle without a clear solution, a puzzle where most choices are both a bit wrong and right, just like life. If pressed for terminology, I'd call it explorative play. Anyway, don't think saying its not a game is a negative reaction, it is the correct conclusion. Thank you for your feedback.

LuisDC says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 7:40pm

Interesting story, I liked it.

Apr 21, 2015 @ 8:40pm

The storytelling mechanic was pretty neat, like the way your mind shifts through different possibilities.

philipp says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 9:51pm

I really like the story and how the text unfolded. I checked through it again and I think I got a hang on your theme. Remembering the person you lost in a good spirit, living in the here and now and as you state at the beginning, stopping all the ruminations. Good message.

If I had to criticize one thing it would be that the ending is always the same, I think, a bit of variety would have given some decisions better closure :]

jdselsor says ...
Apr 21, 2015 @ 10:10pm

I loved how when I clicked on a link the story got expanded. I love the mood even though it is sad but I personalty like sad stories. My only complaint is it is not very game like.

asobi tech says ...
Apr 22, 2015 @ 8:26am

Good writing, liked being able to shift states and seeing the different outcomes. Maybe a little hard to digest at times. Pacing may need to be changed for a Ludum Dare game.

shrapx says ...
Apr 22, 2015 @ 10:14pm

its a really interesting concept! I wished there were extra options on some of the final points to find another way out.. :3

6DownStudios says ...
Apr 23, 2015 @ 5:10am

Powerful stuff, quite a way with words. I especially like the "master in the head can be cruel to the body" bit. I'm glad you chose an outside the box interpretation. I remember reading choose-your-own-adventure books and wishing they had better writing and/or more profound themes.

louki0101 says ...
Apr 24, 2015 @ 2:27pm

I've never played a game like that before... well done!

Kate Kligman says ...
Apr 25, 2015 @ 6:58pm

This looks cool, but the color choice is too difficult to read on my macbook pro retina display.

Ammypendent says ...
Apr 30, 2015 @ 5:32am

Very nice writing. I could see the text reveal being paired with the right ambiance and sound effects to pull the reader even more into the zone.

Crowbeak says ...
Apr 30, 2015 @ 12:33pm

I agree that better writing would have improved this. It's a good story, though. And the use of colors to indicate which text changes when a link is clicked is good. I wish the font had been a bit thicker, though. The contrast between black and gray was too low for how thin the font was.

May 10, 2015 @ 4:16pm

To get hit by a wall of text at first was not very exciting, but I understand the reasons behind that and the game was good anyways.

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