December 13th-16th 2013 :: Theme: You Only Get One

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Alone/Awake

by PaperBlurt - 48 Hour Compo Entry

Basically this is a short Twine game. The ambition was to focus on space, a lonely astronaut and also trying to work in some animations. Some parts I'm pleased with (this is one of IF games I've made that actually has choices), and other stuff not so much.

Basically you could say that I took on a challenge I could not muster.

I had an idea of using animation in Twine by using stills and then use macros to animated them. The only snafu is that I can't draw or animate anything!

I had any idea. wanted to try it out. And at least I did that!

The story didn't get the love it needed either, but I'm in the compo!

Will write a post mortem after the judging.

Hope there are some nuggets for you to enjoy..

UPDATE 17/12:
SnoringFrog spotted a typo (thanks!).
And now it's fixed..

UPDATE 20/12:
Made an attempt to reduce the flickering animations
by converting the still images from JPEG to GIF .. not sure if it succeeded..
(Thanks to Tommy for the tip!)

UPDATE 21/12:
Fixed some typos and went from "freaking" to "f**king".
(Thanks to Christina Nordlander & 2HitAdam)

Downloads and Links


Ratings

Coolness100%
#64Mood3.68
#317Innovation3.17
#478Overall3.03
#640Theme2.61
#675Humor1.86
#702Graphics2.52
#798Audio1.24
#841Fun2.33

Comments

Dec 16, 2013 @ 5:34am

Brilliant!
Reading your poems is simply exhilarating!

Citiral says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 9:53am

I loved it! The writing was amazing!

Dir3kt says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 11:29am

I almost suffocated while playing it. Amazing mood!

chicknstu says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 11:33am

Good example of how much of an atmosphere it's possible to create with only a small amount of artwork and a short story.

Played it three times. The first question threw me a bit...

Are you alone or awake?

well.. both!

Dec 16, 2013 @ 11:34am

nice, you really used the animations to great effect! interesting and good use of twine.

p.s. i enjoyed your dad vs. unicorn a lot too. and that restart-button in the left corner that you've used in both games is a great and subtle innovation.

p.p.s. thanks for checking out my game!

turnA says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 11:36am

Intriguing and unique to say the least. A bit short, but I enjoy every last of it :)

gupta_shvm says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 11:44am

Really interesting! Great atmosphere!

PaperBlurt says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 2:00pm

Thanks so far for all comments.. Seems some people liked it!

And thanks Kristoffer for playing Dad vs. Unicorn too!

Dec 16, 2013 @ 2:53pm

That was lovely and meditative. I'm impressed that you did that within the limits of Twine, and though you were not a fan of the animation, I think it really lent itself well to the medium as a whole. You are getting a new follower on twitter!

Coblynau says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 3:09pm

Interesting writing! Well done! :)

Chris Mondok says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 3:16pm

Very interesting, being stranded in space is an irrational fear of mine. It's cool to play through a few times.

If you preload your images, by putting image tags in the document with something like "display:none", the animations won't flicker.

PaperBlurt says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 3:27pm

Yeah I've had troubles with the flickering images, but I'll try to clean it up!

Thanks for the tip!

kewry says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 3:34pm

Nice story!

mrjordan says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 8:41pm

I honestly have never seen a Twine game incorporate graphics like this before. This is so well written, the animations work so well with it, and it all comes together so well. Bravo!

SnoringFrog says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 9:51pm

One typo I caught: you misspelled "something" in the crater in the "alone" side of things.

Overall, I preferred the 'awake' side to the 'alone' side. I thought the writing style for that path was more interesting. I was a little disappointed that the choices didn't have any significant impact on outcome, but it was still a great story regardless. Loved how you worked the animation into a twine. Very cool and gives me some interesting ideas for future twines myself.

PaperBlurt says ...
Dec 16, 2013 @ 10:04pm

Hey. Thanks for spotting the typo.
I'll fix it asap.

Also thanks for your kind words!

Dmitrix says ...
Dec 17, 2013 @ 4:12am

Wow.. that was neat. :)

lucasncv says ...
Dec 17, 2013 @ 1:28pm

Wow, nice story. My favorite game so far, really well done!

rnlf says ...
Dec 17, 2013 @ 1:32pm

Really nice writing. Didn't know what a Twine game was before this one, but I believe I checked every possible story path.

Nichii says ...
Dec 17, 2013 @ 2:14pm

Not my style or taste, but I can see the value of the literature in this game. It's very artistic, and while it was not meant to be fun, I get that it is pretty well done on the writing there.

Dec 17, 2013 @ 8:11pm

You've really captured a captivating mood with this one! Also, got to love that you got a beard in there too! Really enjoyed this

garygreen says ...
Dec 17, 2013 @ 9:48pm

Your IF games always make me think, and I thought the animations were a nice touch too. I enjoyed it.

Dec 18, 2013 @ 5:06pm

Wow that was brutal! I liked the story, and the animations really helped the mood

Diptoman says ...
Dec 19, 2013 @ 9:35am

That was... Interesting, to say the least. Your writing was great!

loxo says ...
Dec 19, 2013 @ 10:16am

Interesting concept and use of twine. I think the graphics/animations are fitting too. Sadly it's a bit short and there are not many choices to make. It's easy to play all variations, though :)

dray says ...
Dec 19, 2013 @ 10:34am

Interesting concept, the animated part is very interesting and not much seen in Twine games. the story is interesting even if i didn't dive in it. Very interesting job, i hope to see more twine like this.

dkilford says ...
Dec 19, 2013 @ 10:36am

Interesting entry, the games mood was definitely it's strongest point. The art while not technically spectacular fit the game and mood perfectly so I wouldn't worry about that.

It's a shame you ran out of time, I would have definitely liked to have seen more branches. Overall a solid effort.

Dec 19, 2013 @ 3:12pm

Something different, finally, and an interesting read.
Regarding the "Basically you could say that I took on a challenge I could not muster" thing - I think that's just part of the deal. Sometimes those 48h projects work out great, but often we realize at some point that it doesn't quite work out the way we imagined. Despite the final product not being exactly what you hoped it to be, most people here, myself included, seem to enjoy it nonetheless. :)

2HitAdam says ...
Dec 20, 2013 @ 10:11am

A little context on this huge comment: I asked on twitter if anyone wanted feedback on their jam and paperblurt shot me this link. I happen to be a creative writing graduate so what the hell, let's do a little friendly deconstruction while I procrastinate!

First thing's first: animations in Twine is awesome and pretty innovative by the sounds of it, so well done with that. Sets an amazing mood. Probably should issue an epilepsy warning though.

Next on the agenda: the writing. It's not bad, especially for a jam where you're rushing. There's a few typos here and there, nothing that detracts from the story enormously. But there are a number of areas that could be improved. So in no particular order:

- Vocabulary. You're writing a sci-fi and using modern terms like Instagram or calling it a "freaking hammer" but at the same time reaching back for outdated words like "shan't" and "nay". My advice is to update your vocabulary and be consistent, leave the loftier-sounding archaic english out.

- More tell than show. Hopefully you're familiar with the "show, don't tell" mantra of writing, and there are a few places it could be used better here. Why tell us he starts hearing voices in his head when you can show us that transition? Why tell us the crash was horrible when you can show us the horror? I don't want to take your word for it as the author that it was a bad time for everyone involved, I want to see it for myself and make my own assessment. It's much more engaging that way.

- Structure. This was pretty good. One thing you did very very well was make me want to know what happened next, that was all in the atmosphere and the way you withheld plot points til the next click. Really ramped up the mystery. The shiny thing at the bottom of the crater was particularly good for this.

- Clarity. I'll use an example. He goes into the space ship and starts talking about "My fallen colleague." What fallen colleague? "Oh, I guess there was a dead guy the protagonist knew in this crater pod for some reason?" That's a pretty big leap you're asking us to make there, rather than just spending a couple more words letting us know what's actually going on.

Annnnyway, that's my two cents! Feel free to ignore any or all of it. Either way I still think it's an awesome use of branching narratives, and man, if you managed to animate Twine then I'd love to see what you'd make with HTML5 or Flash and infinite possibilities. Peace!

grifdail says ...
Dec 20, 2013 @ 9:32pm

Whaouuuuu.

Dec 21, 2013 @ 12:09am

Once I got into this story, I enjoyed it a lot. Space exploration (and space marooning) has always held a lot of power for me; stories about mental disorders likewise. The plot was interesting enough for me to replay it for all the choices.

However, the story confused me a bit, and I'm still not sure I get all of it. This may have been the result of me playing the "Awake" version before the "Alone" one. I'm still not entirely sure whether the protagonist of all the storylines is the same person.

The only thing I didn't like about the graphics was the flickering at the start. (Unfortunately, I don't know enough about Twine to suggest a fix.) The other graphics are good enough for me, and I'm impressed with the way you did animation. On the other hand, sitting through the animations gets a bit much when you replay the game many times in a row, even if they're not all that long.

Typoes I caught: "coms" should be "comms"; "as gravity would bare" should be "bear"; "ponding" should be "pounding".

A very involving story, and an interesting way to combine Twine with graphics. I think you rose to the challenge.

postmodestie says ...
Dec 21, 2013 @ 12:53am

There is some good writing, but it's also full of cliches, like the god thing etc. and it is not much of a story, but judging from the comments you got the mood right, even if the game aspect is lacking - only two choices? If anything it shows that you hit the right spot, that is storytelling nontheless..

PaperBlurt says ...
Dec 21, 2013 @ 7:33am

Big Thanks to Christina Nordlander and 2HitAdam for their thorough reviews.
I've update some typos as one often (when stressed for time) miss some errors here and there..

Overall it seems that the majority seemed to like it and the atmosphere I was going for, so that makes me glad.

When it comes to the flickering images I can't seem to solve it, but as I stated before - this was just a test with animation in Twine and I'm not fully pleased with it. Twine isn't supposed to be used for animation I guess :)

It’s also been interesting to see how you react to the ”Alone” and ”Awake” parts too.
It’s ripe for interpretations..

irma vep says ...
Dec 21, 2013 @ 12:54pm

The only snafu? But I like your animations. They're simple and cute. More comments later, when I got enough time to play it carefully.

Dec 25, 2013 @ 4:40pm

I found this game to be weird but also kind of cool. I included it in my Ludum Dare compilation video series, if you'd like to take a look :) http://youtu.be/Sii3dnpSvEI

Dec 27, 2013 @ 9:07pm

Very well written. It was a great experience to play your game!

Jan 2, 2014 @ 5:34pm

well written for such a short time & great animation. lycka till!

Nikteddy92 says ...
Jan 5, 2014 @ 2:08pm

Wow.... Strange...
But nice story :)

Jedi says ...
Jan 6, 2014 @ 5:55pm

Very nice mood, and I like the animations of the spacesuit. I'm not 100% sure I understood the story from playing it through once. Is that the intention?

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