August 23rd-26th 2013 :: Theme: 10 Seconds

Ludum Dare 27 — August 23rd-26th, 2013
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Notes on departure

by withoutpillow - 48 Hour Compo Entry

My first Ludum Dare entry (yay!), a Twine game about departure and choice.

The sf-setting probably has something to do with me reading a lot of science-fiction stories lately.

Please play in the browser's fullscreen mode for maximum immersion.


Two endings


If you want to restart from the beginning simply update the page.

Downloads and Links


Ratings

Coolness100%
#150Mood3.39
#568Innovation2.94
#677Theme3.04
#841Overall2.76
#915Humor1.57
#960Audio1.32
#1004Graphics2.12
#1055Fun2.19

Comments

Sebastian says ...
Aug 26, 2013 @ 10:05am

Very short, but quite powerful.

Armix says ...
Aug 26, 2013 @ 11:17am

I liked the smooth and clean way of telling a story. The premise of leaving something behind for (I take it as) love; like @sebastian said: powerful.

CuberToy says ...
Aug 26, 2013 @ 11:21am

A well writen story, with a bit of interactivity. This may not be a "game", ut it is great to experience.

PaperBlurt says ...
Aug 26, 2013 @ 12:37pm

Too short, and not really a "game", but that's way it is with Twine games. It looked real good, but could have made something more of the two choices..

Aug 26, 2013 @ 2:18pm

Short and nice! :D

RobotParking says ...
Aug 26, 2013 @ 3:04pm

Very cool. I like the changes to the Twine interface.

Aug 26, 2013 @ 5:37pm

It's a short "game" but I don't mind that much. The story is clean and impactful. Very well written.

Liz England says ...
Aug 26, 2013 @ 7:51pm

Awwww. Yeah this was great. Very moving in such a short time span. I adore the way you used the theme.

Twine is pretty much built for this kind of game. When picking a place to add player input/interactivity within a narrative... well, I think you did it right, in the way with the most impact :)

Obscuremoon says ...
Aug 26, 2013 @ 9:03pm

Wow, I was hoping in the second ending that I'd see him :'(

Vasileiadis says ...
Aug 26, 2013 @ 9:04pm

Interesting.. wish it had more parts :D

withoutpillow says ...
Aug 27, 2013 @ 9:58am

thank you all for playing and commenting!

pragmascript says ...
Aug 27, 2013 @ 1:02pm

I liked this.

Laelien says ...
Aug 27, 2013 @ 1:13pm

Ooooooh. Nice and beautiful, well done.

chrisamaphone says ...
Aug 27, 2013 @ 6:02pm

Lovely piece. :) Thanks for the comments on my submission, too.

Tainted_Code says ...
Aug 28, 2013 @ 2:15pm

I was clicking all the messages expecting a game at the end but there never was one. So I re-played and read the story very epic and though provoking I wish there was a simple piano track behind it to give it more suspense/intensity!

Aug 28, 2013 @ 2:16pm

Very gripping. Some will argue that this is not a real 'game', but I felt that the single bit of interactivity was really what made the story so impactful. Masterfully done.

MuciojadPL says ...
Aug 28, 2013 @ 2:18pm

Good and originally :)

lekochen says ...
Aug 28, 2013 @ 2:19pm

Good one.

aglushakov says ...
Aug 28, 2013 @ 2:27pm

Very interesting expirience!

Sense says ...
Aug 28, 2013 @ 6:19pm

That's short, but very good.

Aug 28, 2013 @ 8:53pm

A bit short, and I didn't feel like I had any meaningful choices, but I guess my game isn't any better in that field... :)
Still, i get a feeling you could have done more in 48 hours if you really wanted! Maybe next time!!! ;)

Aug 29, 2013 @ 12:18am

Wow! This one gave me the shivers!
Nice, small interactive interactive work with great impact :]

Drubert says ...
Aug 29, 2013 @ 12:58am

Hey! Thanks for checking out my game. Loved how you were able to boil down the feelings associated with leaving in this one.

If you wanted to add on something, maybe show us a bit more of the situation from the guy's perspective, i.e. him rushing to get there in time.

M.O.U says ...
Aug 29, 2013 @ 6:06pm

very criative, i see some innovation here. Good work!

zlowrance says ...
Aug 29, 2013 @ 10:42pm

I enjoyed it :)

porglezomp says ...
Aug 30, 2013 @ 2:31am

Beautiful and powerful.

BenWhi says ...
Sep 1, 2013 @ 4:40am

Was disappointed that it was so short. Started off really great!

Almax27 says ...
Sep 1, 2013 @ 1:53pm

Nice storytelling, sad it's a bit short.

Diptoman says ...
Sep 2, 2013 @ 12:22pm

A little more interactivity would've been nice. Got both endings, though a note saying "LOL" may have screwed up one of them for me. :P
Good work!

withoutpillow says ...
Sep 2, 2013 @ 1:02pm

@Diptoman: screwed up? seems to me like you got quite the funny ending. but after all, it's up to you how you want to interpret the story.

thanks for playing!

Antidote says ...
Sep 3, 2013 @ 3:54am

Really cool xD "He" must have been very confused with my message...

Sep 5, 2013 @ 2:32am

Really powerful. Good narrative, and well chosen words for the links, though I think one of the endings could be a little more elaborated.

blackotus says ...
Sep 5, 2013 @ 2:25pm

Very interesting take on the theme and storytelling :)

Dotanukii says ...
Sep 5, 2013 @ 10:41pm

Nice mood and a really cool story!

panurge says ...
Sep 8, 2013 @ 1:04pm

Nice, poignant little vignette. I enjoyed sending a hurried message and I enjoyed receiving it too. Thanks!

Yakka says ...
Sep 8, 2013 @ 1:29pm

Minimalist and deep :)

Sep 8, 2013 @ 7:24pm

Pretty good story, well-written, if rather short. A bit too non-interactive for a Twine game. I like the way you incorporated the theme.

Can't figure out how to get the second ending. (I thought it would come if you didn't leave a message, but that doesn't seem to be the case.) I might have to come back to bash my head against this game some more...

Sep 8, 2013 @ 7:43pm

Never mind, found it.

manuq says ...
Sep 10, 2013 @ 12:44am

I love this interactive fiction. I wish you continue doing things like this :)

foumart says ...
Sep 13, 2013 @ 10:59pm

This was cool. I like the effect of this kind of.. not games but rather "experiences".

Sep 16, 2013 @ 2:53am

Interesting. I typed "bye" and felt kinda bad :) Oh well, to the stars!

lalanl says ...
Sep 16, 2013 @ 2:15pm

I liked this a lot. At first I thought the end would depend on what I left, rather than whether I left anything.

When I failed to write something in time, I discovered what the game actually is—a challenge against yourself to not just write, but also to be satisfied with what may be the last words someone who loves you may ever read. And the more you let yourself be immersed in it, the more important that decision feels.

I think the people who are saying this is not or may not be a game or putting game in quotes are being silly. It is a short, one-turn RPG, and it's beautiful and undiluted.

<3

Cosr says ...
Sep 16, 2013 @ 8:42pm

Short and simple, but still good. I found it unintentionally hilarious (in a way I really liked) when I misspelled my final message.

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