April 26th-29th 2013 :: Theme: Minimalism

Ludum Dare 26 — April 26-29th, 2013
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by zeelyndz - Jam Entry

A bare bones narrative of sexuality.
[Had issues with the link at first, works now~!]

Downloads and Links




Yorwba says ...
Apr 29, 2013 @ 4:35pm

Dropbox blocks me out.

mtrc says ...
Apr 29, 2013 @ 6:25pm

Yep! Same here. Looking forward to taking a look once you fix it :)

Tigrounette says ...
Apr 29, 2013 @ 6:29pm

error 403

runonthespot says ...
Apr 29, 2013 @ 8:23pm

Dude, within dropbox, you need to grab the public link and post it here

Apr 29, 2013 @ 8:37pm

I was unable to review this game because I was blocked by dropbox, even after signing in! Sorry!

sparkleswirl says ...
Apr 29, 2013 @ 8:57pm

Think your privacy settings made it so that it wasn't accessible. =(

zeelyndz says ...
Apr 30, 2013 @ 1:39pm

It's working now, sorry about that!

saguaro says ...
May 2, 2013 @ 12:33pm

I like the idea of two people "breaking down" to the bones. The concept is interesting and reflects the theme, but the prose is dense.

A little pruning, and breaking the writing down into smaller passages with more hyperlinks, would help the flow.

Orni says ...
May 3, 2013 @ 2:15pm

this is some serious writing going on here - I like it :)

interactive prose has real potential and I'm happy to find such a game on LD.

well done

mtrc says ...
May 3, 2013 @ 2:56pm

I really like the mood, and the endings (I went back and explored it further). The prose is really nice in places too.

I guess part of me would have liked more exploration, but this is me thinking like it's parser-based IF, which is not the only thing Twine can do. So ignore me! I really enjoyed the atmosphere and the mood. Lovely piece.

Thanks for letting me know it was back up :)

someone says ...
May 3, 2013 @ 3:14pm

That was different.

Hume says ...
May 3, 2013 @ 3:31pm

I appreciated the writing. However I couldn't explore the game as it felt sexually violent to me, despite the setting.

MattHartley says ...
May 3, 2013 @ 9:58pm

Interesting and very well written, good job!

May 3, 2013 @ 10:10pm

Very different.

May 3, 2013 @ 11:03pm

Incredible. Well done, I'm happy I happened upon this one.

Jyrkface says ...
May 4, 2013 @ 6:17am

Great writing. Sometimes repeats phrases too close together, common rush stuff, but the ideas were well explored and vocabulary was well put to use.

May 4, 2013 @ 8:05pm

Spellcheck: "franticly" should be "frantically"; "out tibias" should be "our".

Quite a good interactive story. I'm not very interested in erotica, so I was happy to find that this wasn't your average sex scene. There was enough variation to make me play through it for all the different storylines, too.

My one complaint is that the writing skill fluctuates a bit. At its best, it's absolutely arresting; however, it can get a bit overblown in places. There's also a bit of an overuse of the word "off", occasionally several times in the same sentence. (And "off of" isn't necessary: you could just write "off" in those instances.) I'm probably judging the writing very harshly, but a game like this stands or falls by the quality of its writing.

That said, when your writing is good, it's very good indeed. The central idea of this story is going to stay with me for a long time. I also like how it's possible to reach one ending without encountering the fantasy/surreal element.

Tyro says ...
May 5, 2013 @ 1:14am

You're a really talented writer. Good going with this one!

May 5, 2013 @ 11:47pm

What an unusual twist! This isn't a thing that I had ever imagined, and I am always glad for something new.

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