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    Ludum Dare 24

    August 24th-27th 2012 :: Theme: Evolution

    Back to Browse Entries

    2052 - Mach60KAS - 48 Hour Compo Entry

    Made using Twine, with any graphics done in Photoshop.

    After realising I had allocated myself virtually no time for the compo itself I decided to set myself a goal that I could achieve in the limited free time I had - to create interactive fiction alluding to the theme! Luckily for me, Twine was an utter breeze to use and learn, and I honestly think everyone should give it a shot, if only as a small experiment: http://gimcrackd.com/etc/src/ .

    2052 itself is an interactive story told from the perspective of Karen Lewis, a journalist living in a dystopian society where the rich have grown their businesses beyond sane limits. These megacorporations have evolved to the point where they control almost all facets of modern society - and crush all their opposition, leaving the society below them to stagnate.

    I'm proud of having made this, for not only making it in 16 of the 48 hours but also that I've created a project as complete as I intended it to be from the start.

    Please, share any comments and criticism! I'd love to hear how you'd improve it! :)

    TO PLAY
    ----------------------------------------
    Simply read the story, click the links embedded in the text for more information and guide the character through the story. That is all.

    View Mach60KAS's journal. | View all entries by Mach60KAS

    Ratings

    Coolness100%
    #87Mood3.38
    #316Overall3.07
    #329Innovation2.95
    #361Humor2.08
    #426Theme2.76
    #492Fun2.57
    #586Audio1.30
    #729Graphics1.73

    Comments

    Will Xyen says ...
    Aug 27, 2012 @ 2:38pm

    Nice text adventure, seems to either end abruptly from the path I took or I'm missing something.

    Aug 27, 2012 @ 2:56pm

    Created a very good atmosphere, might have been better if the text segments were broken down with more options but other than that it was quite enjoyable.

    kyyrma says ...
    Aug 27, 2012 @ 3:57pm

    Your work is well written and really ticks all the boxes on the dystopian sci-fi / cyberpunk cliché checklist (which in this particular genre is often what readers are hoping for).

    The amount of interaction was disappointingly low however, and it felt a bit more like one of those novels written in hypertext instead of a proper game. The image in the opening of the game sets the mood well, and I would've enjoyed more visual elements throughout.

    Mach60KAS says ...
    Aug 27, 2012 @ 4:26pm

    Yeah, I agree that I should have implemented more interactivity - else it isn't really a game as such, is it? Thanks very much for the feedback though! :D

    Blobby101 says ...
    Aug 27, 2012 @ 7:18pm

    Great! Haven't seen too many text adventures around lately, it's a shame. I really like the extra bits of background information you can access :)

    BuffaloPhil says ...
    Aug 27, 2012 @ 7:57pm

    Some really nice writing here! Very happy to find a text adventure in Marioland. Well played chap

    mappum says ...
    Aug 27, 2012 @ 8:01pm

    I'm impressed at how well-written this was. You really created a cool, realistic universe, and set a nice mood. I could really see this story as a movie or big-company game or something.

    madameberry says ...
    Aug 27, 2012 @ 9:12pm

    Fantastic story. The "Restart Story" button doesn't seem to work.

    Aug 27, 2012 @ 11:39pm

    An excellent narrative. And the library you used looks much nicer than mine. :D
    Awesome narrative. I wish I could write such things. :)

    Drabiter says ...
    Aug 28, 2012 @ 1:18am

    Good story, and CAT sounds great.

    Mamick says ...
    Aug 28, 2012 @ 4:44am

    Interesting idea and good world building. The setting and plot might be a bit cliché, but it is one of my favourites, so I'm fine with it.

    Most of the writing communities I’ve been a part of breed incredibly unfair amounts of criticism, so I wouldn’t take what I say next personally. The writing itself is far above average, but it could be improved somewhat. Some typos and choppiness mar what could be (and almost is) a great atmospheric piece of writing, though that may be because of time constraints. The beginning doesn't really draw me in either. Still, great work.

    Sidenote: we're allowed to fix typos and grammatical/stylistic mistakes might be considered typos, so would you be allowed to change huge amounts of your game?

    Mach60KAS says ...
    Aug 28, 2012 @ 11:39am

    @Mamick I think correcting typos is acceptable, since it isn't adding any new features as such. I think for instance adding a paragraph or two would not be allowed in IF/Text adventures.

    garygreen says ...
    Aug 28, 2012 @ 11:23pm

    I'd agree with some of the others who say that it would be nice to have a bit more interaction in the story. But I still enjoyed the story and thought it was well written.

    DevoreUK says ...
    Aug 28, 2012 @ 11:28pm

    Thanks for leading me to twine, it looks really cool. I like the setting and the story, especially impressive in such a short space of time. Like some others for more interaction but overall great job.

    daydalus says ...
    Aug 28, 2012 @ 11:45pm

    Nice, an old school text adventure! Great story, love the William Gibson-ish setting. I also really like how the text was presented, in a continually scrolling webpage, instead of through direct hyperlinks. It's a great format for interactive fiction - the reader feels like they are making the story as they go along instead of simply navigating a web page.

    One bug I did find - I rewound to "Unlimited Research Works" and hit the ... This pulled up "Long Road Home" which only had "undefined".

    Great work on this one, I'm interested to see the other endings to the story :)

    mdkess says ...
    Aug 29, 2012 @ 12:16pm

    Great! It's nice to see outside the box games here! I like your writing style a lot, the world was nicely detailed. Have you done other interactive fiction before? I'd love to play it if so! The downside was that it felt a bit random - you pick an option, and ultimately get to a good or bad ending, rather than having any chance to explore.

    Overall, this was a very enjoyable read. :)

    galman says ...
    Aug 29, 2012 @ 1:48pm

    You did a really good text adventure! It's quite hard to compare it to the other games on Ludum Dare( No graphics, audio, etc.. ) But still, Nice work :-)

    Ragzouken says ...
    Aug 29, 2012 @ 2:29pm

    Wish I had the skill to write something like this! I liked the story but it was very linear (understandable given the time constraints).

    Jacic says ...
    Aug 29, 2012 @ 4:50pm

    There were quite a few typos, but the story itself is very enjoyable.

    songman says ...
    Aug 29, 2012 @ 4:57pm

    I really liked the story of yours. I would like to know what happens next :-) If you want to give this a reasonable amount of time, it could become very nice novel - Definetely, I would buy it. Good work.

    Cake&Code says ...
    Aug 29, 2012 @ 5:11pm

    Very different than the other entries I've played thus far. Took me back to the old System Shock games with all the non-mission-critical information you can gather that is just lore. Really well written but I wish it were longer or there were more breadth! Keep going with this :)

    zx81 says ...
    Aug 29, 2012 @ 6:56pm

    The story is interesting but lacks interactions for it to seen and rated as a game. It was great idea for a visual novel kost and wasted due to lack of time.

    tompudding says ...
    Aug 29, 2012 @ 9:47pm

    I think I would have liked to seen both a little more interactivity, and a little more subtle introduction (e.g rather than explain what a thing is, have the protagonist use it in such way as to make it clear what it is). Those are minor critiques though and I enjoyed it very much, thank you.

    heuermh says ...
    Aug 30, 2012 @ 3:26am

    Oh, how can I not Weaponize the dustbin?

    Thurig says ...
    Aug 30, 2012 @ 7:53am

    I wished I could write a story like yours!

    pbdiode says ...
    Aug 30, 2012 @ 2:36pm

    Ran into a couple of 'Undefined' paths, and wished there were some more choices a long the way.

    But very pleasant to read, I do enjoy IF. Good Job!

    Uberi says ...
    Aug 30, 2012 @ 5:41pm

    Good story! Well paced and has a lot of atmosphere.

    infernet89 says ...
    Aug 31, 2012 @ 7:26pm

    Bad End ._.
    I didn't expecting a text adventure, but it was surprisingly nice to read! Good work!

    juaxix says ...
    Sep 3, 2012 @ 1:17pm

    Ah, an interactive book...i like the idea but I love videogames too! , I would like to have more time :)

    tomhunt says ...
    Sep 7, 2012 @ 5:12am

    Nice little sci-fi-themed choose-your-own-adventure. It was interesting to read something in this style in a more modern format.

    I liked the setting and the atmosphere. Some of the dialogue seemed a little hokey in spots, and the story seemed to end a bit too soon, even when I seemed to make all the right choices. I did find myself actually going through the different paths to see what would happen. It might be interesting to see this treated out into a full-length, interactive story.

    Sep 17, 2012 @ 8:18pm

    Wow that was great, really captured the atmosphere of an oppressive dystopian state.

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