In Offspring you’re playing father time, or more specifically, father minute. You have six children, each spanning ten seconds. Although the text at times makes it seem like you’re the children and not the father, but uh ah don’t worry about that right now. Look behind you, a bear. Anyhow you can use any one of the six children to make “massive change” in any space of the map, and this change will only take 10 seconds of real time because, you know, you’re time itself and that’s how long everything takes for you.

The game is a sort of planetary evolution simulator. You’re trying to as quickly as possible bring about intelligent life on the planet and get them to launch something into space. You can use one of the six children to, for example, force meteors to crash into the planet so that minerals land upon the ocean surface, or force cells to evolve into algae. It takes about 20+ steps to turn a space of molten lava into something like a spacecraft launching facility, and many changes will only happen due to neighboring spaces. For example, if there is too much lava next to water it will turn into steam, or vice versa.

Your journey is timed, so you’re goal is to reach space as fast as you can. First time out, though, it should feel more like exploration, as you discover the ruleset through trial and error. This all sounds like an interesting idea to me, but we’re approaching the halfway mark! I still have to complete the rules xml file and draw another 17 objects or so, and then after that there’s music, sfx, fx, and remaining bits of polish. So what am I doing still talking to you? What the hell, man?

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